be inspired
PictureSelf Portrait by Run Jane Fox
The Prevalence of Abuse

In order to become an inspiring place for children to grow up, we must begin to accept and take responsibility for present conditions.

Right now, Canada is too dangerous and abusive an environment for children to develop optimally.

On April 22, the Canadian Medical Association Journal published a study that found more than one-third of Canadians have personally experienced abuse as a child.  One-third!  You can read Sarah Boesveld’s summary of the study in the National Post HERE.

In case you think these conditions are exaggerated, the study identifies and itemizes the various forms of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and exposure to domestic violence.  Conditions really are this bad.  We can, essentially, show you the bruises.

In case you think these conditions are a blip, Boesveld pulls comparative numbers from similar studies completed over the past 25 years.  We didn’t get here overnight.  We’ve been like this for too long.

I keep writing “we” because the prevalence of abuse is too high for us to depersonalize the problem.  When it’s one in three, I don’t want find myself having coffee with two friends, talking about child abuse like its merely some societal dilemma.

It’s personal.

It’s me and you.  We have to change.  We can grow.

I can do things today to make Canada the best place in the world for a child to grow.

Would you join me?

A Personal Response

Here are four ways we can personally respond to the prevalence of child abuse:

1)  We can evaluate and work on self.

How has childhood trauma affected me?  Is past pain in me producing present pain in others?  Who do I need to share my story with?  Who can I ask for help?

We can answer these question honestly, find direction, and grow personally.

2)  We can serve someone.

If a child came from a dangerous, abusive environment, into our care, how would we treat them?  Would we serve them with kindness?  Would we protect them from discrimination?  Would we show them value?  Would we speak positively of them?  Would we be patient with them?

We can serve the people we interact with as if their lives have been affected by childhood trauma.  Because, of course, they probably have been.

3)  We can become trauma informed.

The human services sector is growing increasingly aware of and responsive to the pervasive influence of trauma on human development.  Mirroring a perspective of resilience, a clear perspective of the impacts of trauma on resilience is crucial to seeing and serving people well.

In the coming weeks, on the blog, we’ll highlight some of the important conditions, definitions, effects, and connections related to childhood trauma.  If we begin to look at our community as a field hospital for victims of trauma, we can begin to do business differently.  We can become trauma informed in our parenting, teaching, serving and leading.

4)  We can be relationship inspired.

Ultimately, this is what we are all about.  

It’s our vision to grow a world of inspiring relationships.  We’re here to serve you and learn together how to cultivate better relationships.  

Healthier relationships prevent trauma and increase protection.  Better relationships heal the effects of abuse and break the cycle.  Mature relationships create safe environments for children to grow.

We can, personally, learn how to grow inspiring relationships and take responsibility for the prevalence of child abuse in Canada.

What would you like to learn next?

Picture"we grow into the light" by Rudolf Getel
Relationship Inspired exists to grow a world of inspiring relationships.  We endeavor to make that happen by delivering world class learning experiences for leaders and caregivers.

But why?  Why are we delivering content this way?

Here are the 3 primary beliefs at Relationship Inspired:

1)  Development is always about better relationships.

Our perspective on learning and development has been profoundly influenced by the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld.  His book, Hold On To Your Kids:  Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, has become our textbook on child development.  Dr. Neufeld displays the panorama of factors that most influence human development.  Of all the influencing factors, he reveals the decisive factor being strong, healthy, attachment relationships.  Whether it is children at their youngest and most vulnerable, or adults who are still maturing, the critical factor is always relationships.  We believe development is always about better relationships.

2)  Everyone has potential to grow.

Not the potential to grow.  We're not into forcing growth, by exploiting potential.  
Not some potential to grow.  We don't have a limited view of personal potential.

Everyone has potential.  We look at potential as something everyone already has.  It's who you are.  We're just discovering it together!

I used to have a negative view on potential.  I guess I heard, too many times, comments like, "That boy could have potential."  Every comment that referred to potential seemed to focus on something I didn't have.  Potential was something I was supposed to reach for.  I never had a feeling, deep inside, that I would ever get there.

Ridiculous!  Potential isn't something you're reaching for.  It's something you already have.  It's you!  And you are growing!

Our formative influence on understanding potential is Sir Ken Robinson, author of The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything.  Sir Robinson is an international adviser on education and learning.  His perspectives on creativity, imagination, and personal development put an enduring emphasis on discovery.  We believe that everyone has potential to grow, and we are passionate about discovering it.

3)  Better relationships grow more potential.

Our third and final, foundational belief simply integrates the first two!

Just like the empowering internet sensation IFTTT ("if this then that"), we produce world class learning with one simple recipe:

If (the best context for development is)
          then     (relationship based learning will naturally grow)
              MORE POTENTIAL!

Therefore, even before we are trauma informed, complex needs focused, culturally competent, and socially inclusive...  we always begin at relationship based.  We believe that cultivating better relationships will always result in growing more potential!

So, let's grow a world of inspiring relationships!

How can we help you?