be inspired
PictureSelf Portrait by Run Jane Fox
The Prevalence of Abuse

In order to become an inspiring place for children to grow up, we must begin to accept and take responsibility for present conditions.

Right now, Canada is too dangerous and abusive an environment for children to develop optimally.

On April 22, the Canadian Medical Association Journal published a study that found more than one-third of Canadians have personally experienced abuse as a child.  One-third!  You can read Sarah Boesveld’s summary of the study in the National Post HERE.

In case you think these conditions are exaggerated, the study identifies and itemizes the various forms of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and exposure to domestic violence.  Conditions really are this bad.  We can, essentially, show you the bruises.

In case you think these conditions are a blip, Boesveld pulls comparative numbers from similar studies completed over the past 25 years.  We didn’t get here overnight.  We’ve been like this for too long.

I keep writing “we” because the prevalence of abuse is too high for us to depersonalize the problem.  When it’s one in three, I don’t want find myself having coffee with two friends, talking about child abuse like its merely some societal dilemma.

It’s personal.

It’s me and you.  We have to change.  We can grow.

I can do things today to make Canada the best place in the world for a child to grow.

Would you join me?

A Personal Response

Here are four ways we can personally respond to the prevalence of child abuse:

1)  We can evaluate and work on self.

How has childhood trauma affected me?  Is past pain in me producing present pain in others?  Who do I need to share my story with?  Who can I ask for help?

We can answer these question honestly, find direction, and grow personally.

2)  We can serve someone.

If a child came from a dangerous, abusive environment, into our care, how would we treat them?  Would we serve them with kindness?  Would we protect them from discrimination?  Would we show them value?  Would we speak positively of them?  Would we be patient with them?

We can serve the people we interact with as if their lives have been affected by childhood trauma.  Because, of course, they probably have been.

3)  We can become trauma informed.

The human services sector is growing increasingly aware of and responsive to the pervasive influence of trauma on human development.  Mirroring a perspective of resilience, a clear perspective of the impacts of trauma on resilience is crucial to seeing and serving people well.

In the coming weeks, on the blog, we’ll highlight some of the important conditions, definitions, effects, and connections related to childhood trauma.  If we begin to look at our community as a field hospital for victims of trauma, we can begin to do business differently.  We can become trauma informed in our parenting, teaching, serving and leading.

4)  We can be relationship inspired.

Ultimately, this is what we are all about.  

It’s our vision to grow a world of inspiring relationships.  We’re here to serve you and learn together how to cultivate better relationships.  

Healthier relationships prevent trauma and increase protection.  Better relationships heal the effects of abuse and break the cycle.  Mature relationships create safe environments for children to grow.

We can, personally, learn how to grow inspiring relationships and take responsibility for the prevalence of child abuse in Canada.

What would you like to learn next?

Picture小名 by Lawrence Wang
Style is a distinctive way of being.

You experience style with your senses.  You see it.  You taste it.  You feel it.  You hear it.

Learning happens through all of the senses.  Learning takes place in experience.

A theory of learning proposed by psychologist David Kolb was given the name experiential learning.  It is defined as “the process whereby knowledge is created through the transformation of experience.  Knowledge results from the combinations of grasping and transforming experience.”

Kolb identified more clearly what learners have always known intuitively.  Experience blends thought processes with actions with interactions with environment to make impressions.  Learning takes place in experience.

Therefore, style makes a difference.  Style delivers distinctive experiences.

Style matters because it always makes an impression.

We’ve got to be aware of our style, even intentional about our style because it is always making an impression on the people we serve.

Whether leading, managing, parenting, caregiving, acting or painting…  our style makes an impression.

At Relationship Inspired, we take style seriously because we know how powerfully it affects the unique learners that we serve.  We clearly identify 4 style characteristics that we intentionally weave into our learning environments.  We know they’ll make an impact often more deeply than the content we deliver.  At Relationship Inspired, we are:

Curious  -  Before any content is served, curiosity must be stoked.  Belittling curiosity would be like throwing more logs on a fire unlit.  Nobel Prize winner Aaron Klug puts it powerfully, “Human curiosity, the urge to know, is a powerful force and is perhaps the best secret weapon of all in the struggle to unravel the workings of the natural world.”  Sir Ken Robinson also says it well, “Imagination is the source of all human achievement.”  

Enthusiastic  -  It’s our responsibility to bring energy to our learning environment.  Enthusiasm is about producing energy, interest, and, ultimately, enjoyment.  Learning that lasts is learning that is enjoyed.  We’ll take Norman Vincent Peale’s lead, “If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm.  Life does give back in kind.”

Innovative  -  Why would we want to look at the same content from the same perspective, over and over again?  We’re no Einsteins, but… “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” - Albert Einstein.  It’s our duty to ask new questions and find different vantage points, so that we can experience fresh innovation together.  It’s exciting.

Engaging  -  We must learn together.  Discoveries that change the course of history rarely happen alone.  At Relationship Inspired, we are passionate about, well, being inspired in the context of great relationships.  We can’t wait to grow alongside remarkable people.  Our learning environments will always reflect that.

That’s our style:  Curious, enthusiastic, innovative, and engaging!

We’re convinced style makes a difference because it leaves the lasting impression.

What kind of impression do you want to make on those you take responsibility for?

What’s your style?